I had been pondering Muses for awhile and then came upon this chit-chat session between Benjamin Russell and Chrystian Marrero at Naughty Nights Press which was quite entertaining and also informative. It made me revisit my thoughts about Muses.
I've been under the impression for almost two years now that my Muses had returned to me. I was writing again after a painful, five-year dry-spell which I attribute to my marriage. In supporting my ex-husband in his own artistic endeavors, I ignored my own. When it came down to it, he had a dampening effect on my creativity with his negativity that I never realized (like so very many things) until he was out of the house, at which time I found the freedom to create again. I think I became so wrapped up in being a wife, a step-mother, and when baby came; being a new Mommy, that I neglected myself and my needs.
He needed his hand held and needed my support because he felt like a failed artist. So, being the loving wife that I was, I gave him everything of myself. But, I digress, this isn't supposed to be a post about my ex-husband (which in a week it will be 1 full year since the freedom of divorce for me). I began to write poetry again. It was a great outlet for my emotions and a way to record some of the precious moments with my newborn baby. I even wrote a few lullabies for her.
I hopped over to Literotica to read a few stories occasionally and cringed at my college attempts at writing the genre. But I didn't put too much more thought into it until a year later when a surgery that my (new) boyfriend was having inspired a short, teasing, story, ~TLC~. He encouraged me to post it to the site.
(Disclaimer: I do not write this to offend, push my beliefs on, nor upset anyone. I am simply sharing some of my experiences as a writer, Sensitive, and as a person.)
I saw the themed contest open for Summer Lovin' stories and I immediately had a story idea in mind about a love re-connection. I began to write the story, ~Summer Spirit~. As I sat back to read it, I quickly realized it had gone from Romance to Paranormal romance. I wondered how that had happened and what it could mean. I've written Spirit Stories before. I've had my writing taken over by those from the Otherside in the past, but that was the first time it had happened in my erotic romance. I wondered why and if it was okay. I was a little surprised and uncomfortable with the Spirit taking over my story. But knowing the nature of Spirit communication, I accepted it. I had to write her story, otherwise I would have gotten no peace.
I started writing like mad and actually completing stories, probably for the first time in my life. I entered every single contest for a year. The themed nature of the stories truly inspired me. I was buzzing with excitement. My Muses had returned! I celebrated by writing more. I felt elated and reconnected and balanced again, something that had eluded me in the past.
But with each consecutive story that I wrote and posted, I realized something that took me aback. Nearly every single story was Spirit-inspired or Spirit-guided. Even the stories that have no moments of the Paranormal in them, like ~Lavender and Love~, are still Spirit inspired. My latest, a Winter Holiday entry ~Holiday Wishes Upon the Wind~ does have a paranormal element to it, but it's the non-paranormal character who is the Spirit inspiration to that one.
You might ask what I mean by that? I'm a Spirit Medium. I communicate with people's loved ones from the Otherside. It is not something that I ever sought out, nor even wanted. They seek me out, and over time I learned how to accept and even embrace my spiritual abilities. Sometimes, the Spirits who visit me have a story to tell. They contact me and share their stories with me. Often, the telling is enough and then the Spirit will go on their way. Sometimes, their loved ones will read the story and "claim" them. Other times, they need help finding their way across, which I provide to them. It all depends upon the circumstances.
Why they choose to come into and inspire my erotic romance is truly beyond me, especially when it is a child who is guiding me along - like in Jersey Love: Apple Dreams and Release - where a teenager was sharing her story with me.
So I have to wonder, if I am being inspired by those who are no longer living on this Earth, have my Muses truly returned to me? And if my Muses are still missing, when will they come home? And what kind of mischief will they get me into when the Spirits do stop talking? Will they ever? Will I ever get the chance to write a story I want, that came directly from my own imagination and mind and not put there by someone else?
We all think about those people "reading over our shoulder" who might not approve, or might be curious, or critical, or make comments. I have those, but they're not figments of my imagination, they are people's loved ones and they can be demanding of my time and energy. It is only when I agree to write the story and set up my boundaries that sleep can be had. During a visitation or communication, I and the people I work with, get validations which go a long way towards reassuring me that they are real.
Am I grateful to be writing again? Yes! Am I bothered by these Spirit presences? Not usually. Am I honored and humbled to be the one they open up to and they turn to for help? Absolutely! Will I continue to write their stories for them? I will.
Is this any different than Inspiration and where our Muses come from? Do you believe in the Collective Unconscious that creative people dip into, that well-spring of ideas that have been thought of in the past, are being thought now, and are yet-to-be-thought except on another level? Or maybe all of those ideas - thought-forms - are all occurring simultaneously.
"Writers are all too familiar with this process. The characters from novels or scripts are noted for taking on a life of their own. They behave in a certain way not because the author wants them to, but because they have to. That is the way they are. With millions of stories having been told, somewhere out there on the psychic airwaves are all the characters." ~Judy Hall
My stories clearly aren't all "mine." In fact, that same Spirit teenager I spoke of earlier reminded me very sweetly during the month of October, that it was HER story and I'm just her writer. Hmph!
Do you think as writers we can truly claim that a story is all our own and that our characters do what we want because we wrote them that way? Or should we instead be asking nicely? Why do you think so many writers personify their Muses? Or personify and form "relationships" with their characters?
I leave the discussion open. While I have my own ideas as to some of my questions, I'm curious to see what your thoughts are.
